How To Attract Women At School – Climb The Social Ladder
When I was at school, I was pimply, nerdy and socially awkward. There wasn’t a video game I hadn’t played and I was the envy of every ‘World of Warcraft’ player in school; first to level 80 and I always had the strongest character in the game.
I was even an ace at playing ‘hand-ball’ during recess time; dreaming it would suddenly be an Olympic sport so I could represent Australia. While most kids spent their free time on the weekends and school lunch socializing, I preferred to involve myself in activities that involved less human interaction – especially ones that involved people I wasn’t immediately familiar with.
This was my time before learning ‘the game’ and how to be good with girls. It can be best characterized as social weirdness, introversion and self-consciousness. Even though I found comfort in anti-social behavior, I craved to become popular amongst my peers and be sought after by the girls at school. I just didn’t know how.
Well that’s two years ago and seeing as I can’t build a time machine to help my younger and more awkward self, I decided I’d write this article and give you every detail you need to know about rising in the social hierarchy and gaining the ability to pickup girls in school.
So what do we know about attracting girls in a school setting? It’s a closed environment where social value is king. Unlike meeting girls on the street or in a club, your value is pre-determined as there is familiarity and a lack of anonymity.
So reputation is VERY important. Of course you know this though, people probably still remember the fact you wet your pants in Kindergarten and make fun of you for it 10 years later.
If you want to attract girls, you need to increase your intrinsic social value. Social value, from the perspective of evolutionary biology, is determined by three factors:
- Being the leader of men
- Being sought after by other females
- Having the ability to protect loved ones
Your popularity and general worth as a person in life is judged by these factors.
Being the Leader of Men
In tribal societies (the same ones that we existed in for millions of years) there were one or a few guys that made all the decisions. Everyone listened to them and respected them, not because they were wiser and had more technical expertise on matters (allot of the time they were more experienced though) but because they were confident enough to lead everyone.
In school, the leaders of men are the people in your school that have the most respect. They are respected largely because of their ability to relate to other people.
Another thing to add to this is that if they are sought after by females, men will typically revere them. Because of this, their social status will rise and then they will be sought after by even more women. Popularity is an upward cycle.
If you want to be more respected by other guys, you must increase your social value by being able to relate to people better. This can just mean being able to socialize better and being funnier. Funniness is the true currency at the school level as it’s the most important medium of exchange.
The key to being funny is this – seek to self amuse, not to impress. If you say something that you think is funny and laugh at it, your laughter alone will spur on others around you to laugh.
People are responding to the emotional energy behind what’s being said as opposed to the actual content of what’s being said. So two people can tell the same joke but illicit completely different reactions based on how they told it. The person who says the joke purely for his own joy, will illicit the best reaction.
On the other hand, if you say it to impress, people will sense your need for their validation and feel you are week. Worse yet though, without the feeling you get from self-amusement, you don’t spur on others to laugh.
People will judge you on this as they see your trying to suck value from them because you want them to laugh in order for you to feel good. If you just self-amuse, people will take your energy and end up laughing themselves. In contrast, you offer value to them.
I want to mention another important part about respect that ties into the subject of bullying.
If you ever wondered why some people are prone to bullying while others or not, this is why. You see, allot of people don’t get bullied just because of their intrinsically low social value but because their shyness, lack of self worth and lack of sociability exude an aura of snobbery.
Whilst this isn’t technically true, people will interpret the fact that you don’t talk to them and misread it as ‘you thinking you’re too good’ for them. I want you to observe this in yourself and others.
When you pass by people you know at school, do you hold your head down and avoid eye contact? Or do you whole heartedly acknowledge them? If the answer is the latter, then your on your way to establishing a healthy rapport with people, including strangers if you do it to them.
The former will land you in deep trouble because whilst you may think avoiding social contact will minimize your chances of embarrassment or being judged, it will in fact increase your chances of being judged as people will find you are a shady character who ignores people’s existence. People need to be acknowledged and if you ignore them, they will look down on you.
This is exceptionally important to remember so next time you’re in the hallway or passing by people, make eye contact, high five, greet or shake hands. Do it to everyone and they will feel humbled and respected. As such they will reciprocate the gesture towards you by being respectful and liking you.
A really big thing to remember is shaking hands. It used to shock me how little I used to do this as right now I probably shake about 10 hands a day while back in my school years, a meager wave (even if they were right in front of me) sufficed. The evolution of the handshake came about when stranger hunter-gathers interacted with each other.
They wanted to show the other person they were safe by shaking their hand with their weapon holding hand. This is a humble gesture as it shows you’re allowing you’re self to be vulnerable in order for there to be comradery and peace.
That’s why you typically have an instant rapport with men you shake hands with.
How about if you don’t shake someone’s hand? For friends who you regularly see and are very comfortable with, its fine but for people you aren’t that familiar with or people you’re attempting to establish rapport with, you MUST do it. You see if you’re a low self esteem type and you don’t shake hands because your afraid of that kind of gesture, realize that men typically won’t trust or respect you as a result.
You’re very likely to get bullied and you won’t garner the respect of people around you; therefore you’re hurting your social value and you’re never going to be able to pick up chicks at school.
Being Sought After By Other Females
If you’re reading this, you’re probably going to find this point a bit self-defeating as it’s a guide about how to attracting girls at school.
Well the reason I wanted to mention this is because its part of the three tenants that increase your overall social value and if you have this trait, more men will respect you and hence more women will want to be with you.
So how do you get this if you’re not already a ladies man? You can be the leader of men and be the protector of loved ones or you can simply associate with more females.
This point is much harder to achieve than the others but what you can do is simply have more female friends. If you’re a regular guy and have female friends, one or a few will naturally like you simply because of the fact you’re a guy and because they have limited options because they are just in high school.
To make female friends, you simply have to be normal. That’s how I run my game now. You might think being normal is your set default but the truth is hardly anyone is normal. Normal is a relative term so here’s how I define normal:
Normal – Characterizes someone who can relate to others in a non-needy, non-rapport seeking, and non-threatening way and interacts with others like they would with someone they are already familiar with. They also talk to everyone as equals.
Typically, allot of people in school talk to people because they want something. They will tell a joke or a gimmick just to get a laugh.
They will talk with people of perceived higher status with a slight tone of intimidation and try to get their liking and they will generally stay away from people of perceived lower status. They dress outlandishly or over ostentatiously not because they are cool but because they want everyone’s admiration.
By simply talking and hanging around girls in a ‘normal’ fashion, you won’t weird them out and you will naturally build a rapport with them by spending more time with them. If you’re hanging out with girls, other girls will see this and perceive that you are popular with the opposite sex. This is another example of how popularity is an upward spiral.
Being the Protector Of Loved Ones
Whilst not the most important of the three factors, this one still has its place but it is limited to a few circumstances. Some examples are if you see someone being bullied and you stand up for that person, everyone will respect your ability to defend the weak and perceive you as higher status.
This is the most obvious example but it can be extended to being the guy who’s on the good side with high value people, someone who helps people out with anything and someone is generally kind to others.
This kind of person has allotted of respect amongst both sexes as he can provide refuge to others via his intrinsic social value.
These three factors combine to give you your social status and they play a crucial role in your ability to meet, attract and pickup girls in school. If you attain these attributes, finding a girlfriend is relatively simply.
Because you’ve gone to school with a particular girl for a while, being in the same environment helps to build that trust so you can skip the whole, ‘lets be friend for 3 months first’.
If you guys are on fairly good terms and are familiar with each other, simply ask her to see a movie with you and you should become boyfriend and girlfriend.